My Theory of the Day

Since it's a holiday weekend (a good excuse for not working too hard on a Friday), my wife and I decided to head to downtown Raleigh for breakfast...we went to a little hole in the wall diner that has been there since 1930 called Mecca Restaurant...average food, nice people, wooden booths and a nice ol' southern lady working an old school cash register. So we sat there gossiping and talking about random things like the saying "That's what she said"...we wondered if gay dudes say "that's what he said" (real deep stuff huh?). Either way, what we talked about wasn't important...what was important was HOW MUCH we talked and at some point during breakfast I realized that my wife likes to talk way more than I do. Don't get me wrong, I love talking to her...we always laugh and have genuinely good conversation, but enough is enough sometimes. She's like a professional talker and I literally start to get physically and mentally tired if it goes on too long. After a while it just becomes blibber blabber...sorry, it's the truth...she knows it :)

This prompted me to come up with a new theory: Now, let me first start out by saying...there is no scientific data to back up my theory, nor have I tested it on any other dudes (that's what he said)<bad joke>, but I believe it to be true anyways...Here it is:

We as men (excluding gays and metro-sexuals...until I test it on them (which I won't do)) wake up not only with a boner, but with only a certain amount of words to use per day...I have no idea how many words and it's probably different for each guy, but never the less, we only have so many to use. We need the women of the world to understand this! For example, today my words are already spent and it's only 1:45pm...the long breakfast, the ride to and fro (yes it says fro) and the stops in between have my mouth tired...quite frankly, my brain hurts and I want to curl up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor and take a nap :)  Soooooooo ladies, please know this...it is not that we don't like talking to you at the end of a long day...it is that we have spent our words on other people...so cut us some slack!

Women (most...not all), on the other hand, seem to have an endless pit of words and stories and gossip and...I'm getting tired even thinking of it. How do you do it? Don't you ever just look at us and think...God, I hope he doesn't want to say anything :)?

We do love you though and we understand that without you we would just be a group of fat, mute dudes sitting on a couch drinking and smoking pot, watching football, playing video games and masturbating all day (again, excluding gays and metro sexuals)...they would be shopping and hissing their s's  ;)

So as we go into our holiday weekend, let's...wait a minute...I just thought of another theory right now...Here it is: When it's time to go to bed and the "let's get it on" bargaining begins, do women's words dry up? Eureka!

So fellas (again excluding gays and metros)...here's the deal...if we constantly ask for sex all day, one of two things will happen...sex or silence...we can't lose!!!

I hope everybody has a great holiday weekend...I'm going to try and post a pretty funny story either later today or tomorrow and since we are going to our neighbor's house for a drink fest tomorrow I am going to do a "Blogging Under the Influence" tomorrow night (hopefully)!

P.S. I'm not sure why I group the metro-sexuals with the gay dudes...it just seems like they are gay/straight hybrids...right? :)

See Ya...KC